sometimes

Sometimes when i'm stressed, i'll go to my room and throw things at the wall. Sometimes i cry at night, really quietly, so no one can hear me. Sometimes when everyone else is laughing and talking i'll just sit in a corner quietly and watch. Sometimes i just like to keep things to myself, not let anyone else know what i'm thinking. Sometimes i like it when people have really secret lives, and other times i want to know what they're thinking, and why they always act so sad. Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and i don't know where i am. Sometimes before i go to bed i can't get to sleep because i'm always thinking about the next day, all the things i have to do, or thinking about today and how i didn't do what Jesus would want me to do. Sometimes i think about what's going to happen to me in the future, and try to comprehend that Jesus knows. Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and i pray. i pray for my family, my friends, i pray that somehow Jesus will show me whats going on. other times i walk around and wonder why some people act the way they do. why girls say they're ugly when they're really beautiful just to get attention. when guys act like they don't care and they never cry just because they think they're tough. why you don't let me see into your heart. and why i can never trust God fully. sometimes i wonder why i never work hard enough, how i always slack off and never get things done. sometimes i wonder why i do so much... and who i do it for. sometimes when you're not around i like to sit on my window seat and write in my journal. sometimes when everything feels out of wack and you're not there for me and everyone else is gone, i like to sit with a cup of tea on my bed and remember all the times we shared. you confuse me to be quite honest. you've changed so much and half the time i can't figure out why you do the things you do. is it to get attention? is it to show others that you know what you're doing with your life? cause baby you're so wrong hold on to Jesus and He's the only one that's gonna get you through everything in your life. sometimes i just want to yell some sense into your head, make you realize how you're acting. but other times i can't even talk to you openly about anything cause i don't want to yell, i can't. and sometimes i just think you wouldn't understand. isn't that scary? through everything you were the only one who's always been there for me. when everyone else left you were the only one that stayed. sometimes i like to remember when we were little, when we didn't care about guys or anything else, and we didn't have anything in the world to worry about. sometimes i wonder what God has in store for you, i know He's got an amazing plan. // please don't play with me, my paper heart will bleed //

// no? yes. the bothersome of routine. the words she never spoke. the string of hope. the silver lining. the shiver. the glitter liquid streaming from her eyes. the pin drop. the lull between the music and the applause. the snapshot of the moment in time. the fallen snow on the bridge. the preaching of her heart. here goes her dreams, so vulnerable to the world." (a friend) //