26)

it's so soon... i remember when it was 60 days ago and i was counting. i'm so excited, i really think something amazing is going to happen. and i really think God is going to provide everything that i need for it, i know He wants me to go and if He didn't want me to, i couldn't have done as much as i already have. only with His strength can i do anything.

"what does it feel like when the one thing you want so badly is the one thing that hurts?"

-tara

so to you... i'm sorry for judging you. i'm sorry i ever made it a big deal. i'm sorry that i never gave you a chance, that i hurt you. i'm sorry that i didn't want to let you know how i felt cause i thought it would make me feel stupid. i'm just plain sorry. and to you... i'm sorry things turned out this way. i'm sorry that no matter what you can see things as they are, ever hear me say something without being upset. hey maybe all of this isn't even a big deal after all. every day i'm realizing just how much i really exaggerate things. really, though. yesterday i had the worst cramps in the world and i was thinking, man this sucks it really hurts. but then i was like, wake up janelle. you're complaining about how badly your cramps hurt, you have a friend who just broke her back and here you sit complaining. i felt so horrible, i realized just how much i really really do exaggerate things in my life. well... cello lesson soon, well i have to leave soon. have a good day.