I long to learn
I long to see
I long to hold
Dreams I believe
I long to laugh
I long to cry
I long to love
Wanna touch the sky
-Rachel Joy Scott
You know when thing gets confusing, you just don't know why life is happening the way it is. You just want everything to be normal and like you used to be....or at least you think you do. But who says what you're going through now isn't normal in the first place? normal...what a weird word.
Definition:
[n] something regarded as a normative example; "the convention of not naming the main character"; "violence is the rule not the exception"; "his formula for impressing visitors"
[adj] conforming with or constituting a norm or standard or level or type or social norm; not abnormal; "serve wine at normal room temperature"; "normal diplomatic relations"; "normal working hours"; "normal word order"; "normal curiosity"; "the normal course of events"
[adj] (psychology) being approximately average or within certain limits in e.g. intelligence and development; "a perfectly normal child"; "of normal intelligence"; "the most normal person I've ever met"
[adj] in accordance with scientific laws
[adj] (geometry) forming a right angle
But maybe what you're going through in the first place is actually normal. You're changing, new thoughts are occuring, new things are happening in your life. And everything seems confusing and totally NOT normal. BUt really it is. Well, that's what I feel like right now. I want me and my life to be just....normal I guess. It would be boring to be normal though. Not normal in that way I guess, but normal as in....normal thoguhts and feelings that you've always had before.
In the middle of all this, I started realizing that maybe there was something out there that could give me answers. And I found where that was. My Bible. Praying. Writing in my journal, prayers, poems, anything that helped me portray my feelings to God. I had never really experienced that or felt that before. I hadn't been reading my Bible regularly, I would always have unfocused, lousy prayers. Now I've been reading my Bible, praying a lot, about everything, not just thank you for this day, I want to go to sleep now kinda thing. And...it's comforting. Amazing. Rejuvenating. And I've found out a ton of new things. I'm reading 2 Corinthians right now, and I've found that marking verses that really stick out help.
Before I was jealous, I was imagining things and feelings and scenarios that weren't even true. I asumed things of people when I didn't even know them. I wasn't spending quality time with God....and I felt rejected, ugly, self conscious, and stupid inside. It's all fine and dandy to be happy and look like everythings all right on the outside, but really it wasn't on the inside.
I need to change a lot of things. I need to be more responsible, caring, understanding, loving. And I don't have an excuse like I'm just a teenager or I'll do it when I'm older. God wants a relationship now. He wants to know His children now. Not later.
What is life without the lifemaker?
As I was weeping and crying
I fell to my knee
I heard the Lord's voice
He was speaking to me
He said there would be
No more sins, no more lies
Only peace and happeiness
In all of my cries.
-Rachel Joy Scott
I long to see
I long to hold
Dreams I believe
I long to laugh
I long to cry
I long to love
Wanna touch the sky
-Rachel Joy Scott
You know when thing gets confusing, you just don't know why life is happening the way it is. You just want everything to be normal and like you used to be....or at least you think you do. But who says what you're going through now isn't normal in the first place? normal...what a weird word.
Definition:
[n] something regarded as a normative example; "the convention of not naming the main character"; "violence is the rule not the exception"; "his formula for impressing visitors"
[adj] conforming with or constituting a norm or standard or level or type or social norm; not abnormal; "serve wine at normal room temperature"; "normal diplomatic relations"; "normal working hours"; "normal word order"; "normal curiosity"; "the normal course of events"
[adj] (psychology) being approximately average or within certain limits in e.g. intelligence and development; "a perfectly normal child"; "of normal intelligence"; "the most normal person I've ever met"
[adj] in accordance with scientific laws
[adj] (geometry) forming a right angle
But maybe what you're going through in the first place is actually normal. You're changing, new thoughts are occuring, new things are happening in your life. And everything seems confusing and totally NOT normal. BUt really it is. Well, that's what I feel like right now. I want me and my life to be just....normal I guess. It would be boring to be normal though. Not normal in that way I guess, but normal as in....normal thoguhts and feelings that you've always had before.
In the middle of all this, I started realizing that maybe there was something out there that could give me answers. And I found where that was. My Bible. Praying. Writing in my journal, prayers, poems, anything that helped me portray my feelings to God. I had never really experienced that or felt that before. I hadn't been reading my Bible regularly, I would always have unfocused, lousy prayers. Now I've been reading my Bible, praying a lot, about everything, not just thank you for this day, I want to go to sleep now kinda thing. And...it's comforting. Amazing. Rejuvenating. And I've found out a ton of new things. I'm reading 2 Corinthians right now, and I've found that marking verses that really stick out help.
Before I was jealous, I was imagining things and feelings and scenarios that weren't even true. I asumed things of people when I didn't even know them. I wasn't spending quality time with God....and I felt rejected, ugly, self conscious, and stupid inside. It's all fine and dandy to be happy and look like everythings all right on the outside, but really it wasn't on the inside.
I need to change a lot of things. I need to be more responsible, caring, understanding, loving. And I don't have an excuse like I'm just a teenager or I'll do it when I'm older. God wants a relationship now. He wants to know His children now. Not later.
What is life without the lifemaker?
As I was weeping and crying
I fell to my knee
I heard the Lord's voice
He was speaking to me
He said there would be
No more sins, no more lies
Only peace and happeiness
In all of my cries.
-Rachel Joy Scott
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