music

I've been thinking lately about how music affects me. At times when I'm randomly talking on MSN I'll turn on some music. When I'm just sitting around doing nothing but thinking about everything I'll turn on music. And it seems like it's helping to settle my emotions down, but really, it stirs them up more. It's hard to explain. Listening to music can do both for me; calm me and stir up new emotions and thoughts and make me feel worse then I did before. Maybe that's what it's supposed to be like, to help you sort out your feelings but still bring new thoughts to mind at the same time. I think it does both, but it depends on the music and your mood. Music has always been a comfort to me. When I'm in a bad mood I'll go up to my mood and listen to the Cottars or Mindy Smith. Or go plonk on the piano. Whether that be banging my thoughts out or just playing quietly. I love listening to music when I go to sleep cause it relaxes me. Or, maybe it will stir up more thoughts and more emotions. :P

I feel loved. I know am loved. I have an amazing God, family, friends....life is just wonderful. But yet....it's normal. A good normal. But yet I feel like something rejuvenating has to happen, to keep me going. A feeling that's hard to explain really.

This weekend will be amazing. Tomorrow night will be my brother's school music concert and everyone will be there...Chels and just plain everyone. Plus we went to Timmy's last time so we have decided it has become a tradition so we have to go again...lol chels and i already decided that. :P Friday night is the PDG barbecue and all of your family is invited. My Mom wanted to do visiting too so we're going to Cambridge for the whole day and we'll go to Lara's early. :D Plus the NEXT day is our Choral Connection concert which is amazingly exciting cause there will be a whole ton of people there and I'll get to see most people two days in a row O_O that's basically a record.

Outstretched Hands

Could I talk to You?
Are You listening?
Would You let me ask the questions
That burn inside of me?
I am reaching out
I am holding on
Feel like one of Your affections
But not quite like I belong
Like I belong

I am numb today
Everything's a blur
I've seen too much to deny
Too little to be sure
Like a prodigal
Like a distant son
I can see You from a distance
But I’m too ashamed to come

Will You see me through this valley?
Will You hold my outstretched hands?
As the world caves in around me
Will You help me understand?
Help me understand, help me understand

I am scared to fall
Scared to carry on
Am I losing to the cynic
After running for so long?
There's a child in me
Lost in mystery
But it's buried underneath the earth
Longing to be free
-Starfield