one week of camp done :)

I don't want to be so grammatical right now and I don't want to worry about the way my words sound. I always do. I'd like to let my thoughts run wild and maybe I'd say enough for once. Or maybe not.

I thought about something today... when someone is really good at something, when they have something or someone in their life that they love a lot, they do whatever that thing is or talk about that person with such free enjoyment that it isn't even about them. It's about something bigger, something finer, something they throw themselves into without a second thought.

Life is better when we allow it to be, I think.

Live; v. -
Lived, living, lives
1. To be alive; exist.
2. To enjoy or make the most of life; to be in a state of happiness.
3. Having life; alive; living; not dead.

God will lift your head

Here of all places

I'm face to face with

What You began and what I've become

First there was fire

Now, just a flicker

Will breaking my heart lead me back to You?

-Here of all Places, Tree 63

Today has seemed to go by quickly while going slowly. Lately God's taught me a lot- and I've definitely learned. Especially that... He breaks us to build us. And I've finally realized... this may sound weird... that He gets it. Haha how stupid of me was that? To ever doubt He has a plan. He know's what it's like. It's hard when you want something so badly but it's not the right time, and you know it's probably not even in God's plan at all. It shouldn't be hard, because I should just trust. Fortunately He's not going to leave me to figure this all out by myself. God has a higher purpose in all this. Knowing what you want sometimes can be a bit frustrating. Knowing what you want but not quite being able to really find that. Or if you do find it, the impossibility of it is obvious.

How do You know my condition?

You came down to me to know what it's like

To know what it's like to hurt

You came down to me to know what it's like

To know just what it's like to

Be me, to be us

So... I honestly don't know what's going to come out of all this. But I'm ok with that now. Funny how God can turn things completely around. I used to be ashamed of God, of living for Him. I can't believe I ever did that, cause now all I want to do is go out there and tell everyone about Him. It just makes me so excited thinking of what He's done for me. I don't care what people think anymore.

summer is wonderful :)

Life without God scares me. Good thing I'll never have to experience that.
I wouldn't say I'm running away. That word "running away" makes me feel like a coward, like I can't handle it. I'd rather use the word escaping. It makes me feel better, like I actually know what I'm doing and how I'm doing it.

ha.

It's funny how we use completely different words to describe the same action simply because we're afraid of the emotions attached to their meanings.

you look like the songs that I've heard my whole life coming true